Why Noah Puckerman isn't the loser
by Cocoa Mocha
Summary: Puckurt. He and Kurt are in a relationship now. And he tells his teammates why they're on the losing end. Oneshot.


Author's notes

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Nope not even my own undies.

Warning: OOC, My first time writing a Glee fanfiction, be easy on me. Sorry I did this at night when I suddenly thought of it so it's quite short and messy. I didn't reread so sorry for any error. Tell me what errors there are and I'll try to correct it.

* * *

Of course he knew he was going to be slushied for the rest of his high school life when he came out of the closet to the Glee club, which of course would somehow leak out to the whole school population. What made it slightly shocking was whom he came out of the closet with, well with his hand on Kurt Hummel's waist walking through the hallway, everyone would have found out eventually.

He felt a bit grateful that he told his mother beforehand, though she hadn't welcome him with open arms, or an open door for the matter initially. She had eventually warmed up to the idea after meeting Kurt. He guessed it was because Kurt could pass off as an eleven year old milkmaid. They had hit it off too. She actually told him it was like having a daughter-in-law with a few parts extra or missing. They talk about fashion and soap operas now, even formed a schedule where they each take turns to nag at how messy and uncouth he was. Whatever uncouth meant. But he wasn't going to whine, he had his bad-assedness to think about and he wasn't going to care about what they said.

Though he did tell them that he was not awkward, clumsy or unmannerly after they said that. Ok, so he did sneak a peek at the dictionary.

It didn't surprise him when his teammates couldn't look at him straight, putting aside Mike, Matt and Finn. Though he had his suspicions on Finn, frankenteen had actually threatened him saying that if he hurt Kurt in any way he would be paid back ten folds. He knew Finn was jealous but when he put forward his thoughts towards Kurt, he was actually brushed aside, said something about him being paranoid himself. Even though Kurt himself couldn't look at Finn without blushing after that. He wasn't jealous of course, he had nothing to be scared about, he was a stud, nobody leaves a stud. So when he crushed his lips with Kurt's in front of the whole Glee club, it wasn't out of jealousy, nope that wasn't the reason at all. It was definitely not because Kurt was chatting happily with Finn when he, Noah Puckerman, was in the same room, _nope_. Definitely not because Kurt had laughed at something Finn said and placed his small pale hand lightly on Finn's shoulder, _nope._ And certainly, definitely not, because Mercedes had quietly and innocently hinted to him that Kurt had liked Finn before he liked him, nope, not at all.

Though he did tell Kurt that he was a little jealous after he was reprimanded badly, he didn't pay attention to the lecturing though he was distracted by those cute luscious lips and the way Kurt's fair skin flushed slightly red with anger. And before you, the readers, say anything, he was lying about being jealous to Kurt so that he wouldn't be ignored for weeks on end, and he wasn't going to resort to making out with Kurt in his dreams. Ok, so he was lying about lying, but dude, his reputation was on the line.

Finally he wasn't that worried about being beaten up by the jocks from the other teams. Kurt, for one, was never beaten up though he was thrown in the dumpster a few times. Which he felt guilty about of course. And Rachel's dads turned out fine though they might have been beaten up to adopt a kid like Rachel. Shudders.

To which he was surprised when he was cornered one evening in the hallway after Glee, when he was making his way to the carpark where his boy was waiting, by his teammates.

"What's your problem?" He shouted.

"You're our problem, dude." He looked at them with an arched eyebrow still not getting it. Another one of those idiots started to open his mouth.

"How can you turn into a fag suddenly man? Were you like checking us out in the showers all these years? Gross. Turning into a pansy, Noah?" Where Puck's response was to punch the guy's face and effectively breaking his nose. No one is allowed to question his bad-assedness. They backed away slightly.

"First off, as you can see, I'm all man. Secondly, Kurt has been the best that has ever happened to me. That little minx is hotter than any girl I've laid my eyes, hands and lips on. He's rich to boot, I don't even have to pay for our dates and I get to eat all the steaks I want, man. And did you check out the car I was riding?" He paused as his teammates nodded their heads dumbly. "A present for our four month anniversary." He heard their gasps and smirked,_ take that. _He continued, " Burt Hummel is his father, THE mechanic in town, and Kurt did grow up in the garage, I can get repairs and check ups for free. Kurt's pad? Has all the gaming, sound system for his LCD TV and even a full open bar that I can use at any time, all the time." He looked around for their reaction, he had gripped their attention. "Which one of your girls gives you the same treatment?" Silence greeted him. "Thought so." He said, smugly.

"Noah?" A slightly high pitched voice called him in the dark, he turned to see a small figure walking through the dark hallways. The figure came closer till it reached the group. It was Kurt, obviously bored out of his mind, if his expression was anything to go by though it changed slightly when he saw a guy on the floor still holding his bleeding nose. "Is there something wrong, Noah?"

Puck shook his head. "No babe, I'm almost done with them, mind waiting at the car?" Kurt huffed at being treated like a child and pouted cutely while crossing his arms indignantly. "Please?" His babe rolled his eyes at him and walked away, "Hurry it up, Noah. Don't keep me waiting." He swayed his hips slowly as though to entice him, and damn, it worked.

"Look at that pert ass, boys." He paused again, waiting for all of them to turn. "That's what I'm tapping every single night." He smiled smugly and followed Kurt. Leaving his teammates gaping at him.

When he reached the carpark, Kurt was already waiting inside, and he could see Kurt boring holes into him. "What was that about?" Noah shrugged it off as he sat at the driver's seat. "Just telling them how lucky I am to have you." To which Kurt couldn't help but smile. "I swear sometimes you just know all the right words to say." Before leaning in to peck him on the lips. He was a stud of course, he _owned_ all the right words.

The next day, a jock started hitting on Artie (his father is a businessman) but Tina had scared them away by breaking out into some Kung Fu moves she learned on the internet.

* * *

So he did lie to his so called 'friends'. But they didn't need to know the whole truth.

He's a **gentleman** who always pays for his dates which effectively made him dead broke. He didn't own the car, it was Kurt's. Burt Hummel wouldn't let his darling son near the _death trap_ that was his (Puck) motorcycle. But Kurt did let him drive his car for show. And Kurt had no gaming system whatsoever, saying it was repulsive and it rot people's brains but seriously, how was shooting an undead zombie not fun? Though he had to admit it was a blessing in disguise as it would have distracted Noah from the finer things in life, like making out with his little fox on the bed. And while Kurt owned a sound system hitched with his Full length LCD TV, he was never allowed to choose the movies and shows to watch. Though on the bright side, he got to hold Kurt while his babe cried, with his eyes puffy and lips swollen red cause he bit his lips, when Bambi's mother got shot. And after what happened with Ms Ema, the bar was locked away, he had no access to it at all.

And he hadn't had the chance to tap anything since they started going out, Kurt said he was saving his virginity till the very_ special _moment. And that moment still had not arrived much to Puck's disappointment. Instead the only thing he was tapping every night was his pen as Kurt taught him maths. He was kind of forced too after his mom told Kurt to set him straight and Kurt has actually agreed.

Though having his math's tutor fine round ass on his lap every night and a few shy kisses as rewards when he got it right, wasn't that bad. Nope, not at all.

* * *

Read and review :)


End file.
